Q: What happened when the bomb-sniffing dog wrote his autobiography?

A: It got on the best smeller list.

Q: What sort of people make the best bookkeepers? 

A: The people who borrow your books and never return them.

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Actual Questions Asked of Librarians:

  • Do you have books here?
  • Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?
  • Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?
  • Where in the library can I find a power socket for for my hairdryer?
  • Do you have that book by Rushdie, ‘Satanic Nurses’?  [Actual title: ‘Satanic Verses’]
  • I am seeking a directory of laws that I can break, so that I would be returned to jail for a couple of years.
  • Do you have a list of all the books I’ve ever read?

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